Perfect Record

A cool pool in the summertime.
The deep end looking' grim,
Jumping off the board like I'm a dime,
Am I going to sink or swim?

Floating in the waves,
I see Sal is on duty,
I hope that he really behaves,
Watching all the guests, not just the cuties.
How could I not feel safe,
At a life guarder's party?

Carrying cans in my swim trunks,
Too much beer and I'm drunk,
Is the pool spinning me in a blender?
As my head goes under,
As my head goes under,
As my head goes under.

So I put my arms up,
But they didn't seem to care.
I'm frantically screaming,
but the dance music keeps on playing,
Who knew I was at a deadly resort?
So I put my arms up,
But they didn't seem to care.
They're too busy celebrating,
Their summer of no drowning,
And I'm ruining their perfect record.
And I'm ruining their perfect record.

I wait for rescue, but no whistle chimes.
I'm passing people, face down,
They say, "Who's that guy, whose body is lime?,
He must have drowned."

I see my body in the deep end, while I'm standing outside the pool
Whatever dream this is, it isn't cool
That's when Sal gets off his high chair
And he tries to do CPR.
And he tries to do CPR.
And he tries to do CPR.

Chorus

Feeling detached from my body,
I know something is not right.
I try to say to Sal, "I'm okay,"
"But could someone turn off that spotlight?"

Chorus

*** Synopsis: Song about a drowning victim at a lifeguard's party.